I AM TIRED

Why am I always tired?

Why do I always yawn?

Why does a normal day out tire me more than it tires you?

Where do I begin…

Lets say we spend the day together, my muscles aren’t moving more than you by the look of it but they are. You might look at me at the end of the day and think how weak is she to be this tired, we did the same thing. But this is how my muscles move more than yours…

There is a war in my head and I’m glad you don’t realise it because if you did you wouldn’t be able to drag your body to get up again. 

While we’re walking on the street and your mind may be in a peaceful place im only thinking about :

  • Why is that person looking at me
  • What if that van stops and takes me away
  • What if there is someone behind me ready to attack me
  • What if someones following me
  • What if someones holding a bottle of acid
  • What if I fall
  • What if a car comes driving into me
  • What if my brain can’t keep up
  • WHERE AM I EVEN GOING… walk faster > breathing faster > faster heart rate.. what is going on???

Not sure how these thoughts sound to you, but they pop up in my head quite frequently.

The list goes on… and it is so intriguing how all of these thoughts use up our energy, make our muscles move faster, make us EXHAUSTED! 

‘control your mind or it controls you’ in my above scenario i’ve definitely let my mind control me which has led to me in bed with aching muscles because of my mind, because I didnt take control. I became tired.

Your thinking got you into a mess and it is only your thinking that can get you out of this mess!’

The thing is that thinking is not something that happens to you, it is something that you do. Everytime I read this I realise that every little thought that comes into my brain, positive or negative, it is in my hand. Do you ever stop and say to yourself, why am I thinking like this? Its unfortunate because we’ve allowed ourselves to reach this point. Despite the brain being so powerful, thankfully it is easy to change our mindset, it may take long but it is easy. Every time you think of a horrible thought and you realise that you are in control of it, STOP and think of the opposite. Remember, if you are thinking about something you are afraid of, something you fear will happen… it is anxiety, NOT signs! That was the best advice my therapist gave me and everytime I acknowledge that my thoughts are something I fear, I straight away say ‘It’s just anxiety’ and forget about it. It took a while, and I could go on forever about how long it took me to convince myself my thoughts were anxiety and not the truth. So that this blogpost doesnt become too long, I’ll hopefully be sharing some tips in my next blogpost!

Zaina X

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