Perfectly imperfect.

Well dressed, a smile on my face and daily instagram pictures. It MUST be a great life.

After uploading my first blogpost I got so many messages saying:

‘You suffer with anxiety, I had no idea’

‘You don’t seem like the type of person to suffer from anxiety’

‘You don’t look like you have anxiety’

What bothers me is that people think anxiety can be seen by the naked eye whereas in reality by the use of your naked eye you will never know the hidden truth beneath the persons skin.

I see so much online with people belittling those with anxiety, or even depression. If you’re caught smiling, or going out with friends, you’re accused of making up your condition. If you’re sharing your life online via blogging/vlogging you surely can’t have a mental health problem, because you’re so confident and you share everything with an audience?

 

You can be confident yet imperfect.

 

But what makes it worse is when I see certain individuals targeting those and saying “you don’t look like you have anxiety.” Anxiety doesn’t have a look. It’s invisible but it doesn’t mean it’s any less of illness. It becomes almost a routine battle, feeling sick on the inside while knowing the world thinks you look fine.

I use to have panic attacks during classes and excuse myself to go ‘use the bathroom,’ I’d call my mother and cry to her on the phone and plead her to come pick me up. She told me to stay strong which meant I had to return to class and act normal. You see, I looked perfectly normal yet 5 minutes before I had a panic attack. Anxiety does not have a look.

Sometimes I would have to take days off because of insomnia and panic attacks during the night. I would go to school and was told ‘you look fine why didn’t you come in,’ I’d have to tell them I was feeling a bit unwell but really I knew they weren’t convinced.

 

You see, us anxiety battlers are perfectly imperfect. We seem perfect to you, a perfect life with everything we could ask for, we may even fake some smiles on social media yet we are broken inside.

 

But everyone has an imperfection, right?

 

Don’t forget to follow me on instagram: @zainaspeaks

And subscribe to my youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCi9nHa8NyOLAArHvfdHWtkg

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